Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Marrying Young Shouldn't "End" Your Life

young love and marriage

Whether you just discovered my blog right now or you've been following me for a couple of years, just one look at my blog or even my Instagram account will show you real quickly that I am married.

A little more digging will also show you that I am quite young to be married (at least by today's standards) at the age of 22.

P.S. We've been together for almost 7 years.

I understand why society would have hesitation towards couples who marry young. Back when women didn't have as much freedom career-wise, getting married and having babies was pretty much the only thing you could do. With all the knowledge we have access to now, it can seem unwise to get married so young too. I get all of that. My family had the same viewpoint as well so I am very familiar with the reasons why people don't get married before the age of 25 too much anymore.

For me personally, there were many reasons why I got married. A good chunk of it was my faith directing us towards that, but a lot of it was also that we had dated so long and it all felt right. I knew in my heart that the timing was perfect, no matter how unexpected getting married was for us.

If you grew up with or are familiar with Christian circles, then maybe me being married at 22 isn't a surprise to you. If you didn't, then you might be scratching your head as to why someone like me might be married already. I have a degree, I am very independent, I am career-minded, and I also don't want children yet, so why would I want to be "tied down" at this age?

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, we had both friends and family tell us that it wasn't too wise of a decision to get married partially because for me, as a woman, I was "giving up" my life. It meant that I'd have "no freedom" anymore.

I saw things very differently and saw our marriage more of us just joining our lives together. I didn't see it as a restriction but more of opening the door for us to fully share our lives together. Ever since I was 15, 16 years old we talked about these very things and at the time we got married, the timing was right. We dated with the intention of getting married somewhere down the line and it was always a given with us, never a question.

Tweet: Marriage shouldn't change your goals and dreams for life.

A few years ago I wrote a post addressing people who bashed those who got engaged before the age of 23, but I also addressed the people who did get engaged before 23. (Funny enough, I said in that post that I might also be engaged/married before 23. I was right!)

Obviously, people are going to do what they want regardless of what you think about their decisions. Personally, I think that as long as you and the person you are with have gone through enough positive and negative experiences together then why not make the commitment to get married if you both want to and are able to?

If you are considering marriage in any capacity (regardless of age), just know what marriage won't nor should it "end" your life. If you have certain goals you want to accomplish, getting married shouldn't change those goals. If you are already committed to dating someone seriously, how would your goals while dating them change when you get married besides living together?

Honestly, it is a pet peeve and after being married for almost a year I still don't understand why people have that mindset. It shouldn't affect your dreams in the sense that you automatically can't accomplish them because you're married. I get it when life happens and you can't pursue your goals anymore, but marriage in it of itself will not and should not affect what you want to do in life.


Where are my young married couples at? I gotchu guys! Also, my inbox is always open if you want to chat more about topics like this. I will be writing a couple more posts like this mostly to encourage people in similar situations and also to shed a different light contrary to what people may think about certain people in these kinds of situations :)
love always, Kriselle

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