Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Fearful Habits and Creepy Stares

A little over a month ago, my dad fixed his car, making my car (he'd been using it for over a year) completely my own. Because of that, I'm able to go places without depending on him or my boyfriend by myself. 

I was able to drive myself last summer, but it was usually just to church and school (for mail and financial aid stuff), but not much else. 

So when I received my car back to use for myself, I noticed some interesting observations and habits that I quickly developed when I'm driving by myself... 

  • Whenever I leave a location, I make sure to take my keys before I even get outside of the building so that I'm ready by the time I get to my car. 
  • I lock the doors whenever almost immediately whenever people leave my car or once I enter my car by myself. 
  • The first time I went to the bank by myself since getting my car back, a man literally stopped in his tracks (he was leaving the bank building as I was heading in) and stared at me as I walked towards the building and even as I walked in until I got in line before he left. 
  • The next day I had to go to the bank again and asked my dad to come with me (out of paranoia) but he went in his own car because he had work. He left once I got to the bank because he was running late and I went to the ATM and as I was about to get into my car a man called out to me from his truck and tried to hit on me. 
  • Just yesterday, as I parked my car in front of my dad's house, I was on the phone with someone but one of the neighbors who had been creepily staring at me for the past two weeks was in his car (possibly with someone else) and looked out his window and tried to get my attention by smiling at me and waiting to realize that I was busy as he almost rolled down his window to talk to me, but luckily being busy on the phone saved me. 
Do you see a pattern here? 

This is honestly one of the things that I really hate about being a girl. I feel like we constantly have to be aware and be careful with what we do when we're alone or we're at risk for getting into some trouble. I know that there are things like pepper spray and all that, but why do women have to try so hard not to get kidnapped or raped? Why do so many men think that it's okay to just creep on women like they do? Like with my first experience with the man at the bank--who seriously stops what they're doing to stare at you as you walk into a building?! The man wasn't close to my age either--he looked like in his late thirties/early forties. 

With the 3 weird experiences I've had that I talked about above, my dad only agrees that the first situation was inappropriate. I'm not sure if it's because he is a man or if it's a cultural reason that he's downplaying the significance of those events to me (Asians tend to do that with a lot of things, like health issues too, that's why). 

I was talking with my girlfriends about this recently, and they all just suggested that I buy me some pepper spray to casually pull out in case I encounter a situation like this again. 

I just don't think that it is fair that women have to be so conscious about these things, but if you're hypersensitive about it, you're overreacting, and if you're not and something does end up happening to you, you're suddenly "asking for it." 

I can see why people make the argument about even if you aren't asking for it, short shorts and revealing tops can cause a guy to think a certain way about you. But I say that if he is going to act upon it and make a move onto you, that is his fault for not controlling himself. There are many people out there who see people dressing or looking a certain way and don't do anything about it. Just because you can't, doesn't mean you should be putting other people in danger for yourself. It is honestly one of the most selfish things a person can do, which is taking advantage of a person in a physical/sexual way. Even if you just try to call out a person (a woman specifically) and try to talk to them, you're not complimenting them. You're just creeping them out. 

I obviously know that most guys aren't like this. I mean I hang out with guys most of the time. But for those that look at girls in a creepy (and not slick) way or try to "holla" at girls from their cars, it's better if you just keep it to yourself. Chances are, she's not going to want you, especially if you approach her in that way. 


Chau for now

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