Friday, December 20, 2013

The Difference Between Clingy & Healthy

A term that I started hearing this past year to describe the winter time was "cuffing season." What does that mean? I'm not sure of the exact definition, but it is to describe the ideas of people coupling up during the cold winter months.

As someone who has been in a relationship for three and a half years, I have definitely gone through times of being extremely attached and times of being very detached. I feel like I have gotten to a happy medium, especially throughout this past year.

This is the season where couples want to spend all their time together and be mushy-gushy or even where singles just try to find someone to cuddle with for the sake of "cuddle weather."

Now I know I shouldn't be one to talk much but it honestly is a little irritating to hear couples complain about not seeing their significant other enough when they see them everyday. That is one of my pet peeves. I mean, I understand if you two are in the beginning stages of dating, but please do not talk about that to me all the time. It may not be much, but I can go anywhere between 5 days to 6 weeks without seeing Darell. I know couples that have gone whole semesters without seeing each other because of distance. Not getting to eat with your significant other for a meal won't kill you.

With all that said, this post isn't a vent on what irritates me about couples (that will be for another post later). I just have a couple of tips on staying happily and healthily independent this season (or any season), regardless of if you're single or not.

  • Don't sweat the small stuff. If that person doesn't text you back or can't hang out on one day, it is not the end of the world. Keep yourself busy with other things, like hanging out with other friends or relaxing on your own. You will be glad you did. 
  • Don't ignore your friends for your s/o. I've made this mistake before and it really takes a toll on your friendships with the people you really care about. Your friends will stop asking to hang out with you because they already know you'll say no for your boyfriend or girlfriend. 
  • This person is not your whole world. They cannot and will not be able to fulfill every. single. one. of your needs. It is humanely impossible. You need other people in your life. 
  • There is a way to spend lots of time with that special someone without being clingy or annoying about it. Spending lots of time with your crush or significant other isn't bad until you start complaining about not seeing them for a day or obnoxiously post about you two all the time. Find the happy medium!
  • Don't neglect that person. Don't go to the opposite extreme and act like you don't care about that person. If they mean something to you, show it! You just don't need to tell us every day on Facebook or Instagram. 
  • Remember: YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. I know that this sounds a little cliché or even obvious, but when you are pining for your crush's attention or craving it from your significant other, it is easy to think that you can't/aren't complete without them. It is always annoying when you are so dependent on someone else for your happiness or enjoyment. 
Wow, that sounds a lot angrier than I intended it to be. I don't mean to be so negative, but I do think that learning to become/stay independent despite a crush or significant other is so important. I see too many people either obsessed with getting someone or obsessed with that special person. It's not bad to love or care about that other person, but do it tastefully (and not in such an annoying way)! 

Did I miss anything? 


  1. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years, and about 1 year of that was long distance - as in 7 hours time difference long distance - so I completely agree! Sometimes, I don't see him for 3-4 months and although I do miss him, it gives yourself some 'alone' time and could actually be a good thing! Now, I find that I hang out with my other friends a lot more. Sometimes, distance could be a good thing (:

    Yuen @ The Craziest Paradigm - a 'lil bit of rust & stardust

    1. Wow that is crazy! Well kudos to you guys for keeping up your relationship while being long distance and still maintaining a healthy independence from each other. [: That is great!


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