Thursday, August 6, 2015

Oceans Apart: What it's Like to Adjust to a Long Distance Relationship

This is my first official post on long distance relationships, or LDRs for short. I'm debating if I should create this as a series called Oceans Apart or not, especially because not all (probably most) LDRs are not oceans apart. We'll see how it goes. 

But anyway, it has been 4 weeks since Darell left me at the terminal when he left for Australia. So the past few weeks have been spent adjusting to him being gone, obviously. It's been pretty difficult for me in many areas, but it has also been quite refreshing as well. 

We have a large time difference. 
In case you don't know, Sydney is 17 hours ahead from LA, at least when we're on Daylight Savings Time. This has been the biggest adjustment for me by far because it affects when I can talk to him. When I wake up in the morning, he's sleeping. When I get home from work & am free to talk to him, he's starting his morning so he's in class & can't talk much. Late at night around bedtime for me is the most convenient time for us to talk, unless he has a late afternoon/evening event. 

Despite the time difference however, it has managed to work for us so far. I'm pretty used to it already so it isn't such a big deal unless he's busy before I'm about to go to bed. 

Even when we're both awake, he can only talk to me through wifi. 
Let's face it, international charges are ridiculous. Darell has a phone now with an Australian number that he can call/text with, but if he tries to contact me through it, we will both be charged with international fees (sorry mom for the few texts we exchanged before realizing this, woops). 

As a result, I can only talk to him when he has wifi, which is either when he is at home, school, or church. If he is out anywhere else or commuting, I usually can't talk to him. Again, I'm getting used to this which isn't too bad. As long as I can keep myself busy it's not an issue. 

I have a ton of free time!
So this is probably the most positive thing for me since he has left, haha. Before he left in the months from his acceptance leading up to his departure, I spent almost every free second I could with him. Before that, on a normal basis when neither of us are preparing to move across an ocean, I usually would only see him on weekends and go a few days to a couple weeks without seeing him sometimes (this was before I had a car). 

However, since I spent the last 7 months trying to spend as much time with him as possible, now I have the freedom to do basically whatever I want, whether with myself or with friends. Darell probably would rather I go out & do stuff anyway, regardless of if he is in Sydney or here with me, but I just wanted to take advantage of my time with him before he left. 

I'm really enjoying this free time mostly to invest more in my friendships (can't you tell I'm an extrovert?). It's only been a month & it's been so nice. I'll probably write about this in another post in the future. 

I'm starting to see my insecurities come out, and are more amplified than ever. 
Right after Darell left, I left for camp. It was the perfect distraction to start out this long distance thing because if it weren't for camp, I probably would've bawled my eyes out that whole week. 

However, when I came back, the reality of Darell not being around really start to hit me. Insecurities & fears that I have as a result of my past & other things in our relationship before began to fill my mind and it was driving me crazy. He and other people in my life reminded me and pointed me to Jesus. I'll be honest and say that it was hard because even though I knew that was what I needed, I didn't want to fully surrender because my fear was so bad. 

Since then, I have taken baby steps into focusing this time I have away from Darell on myself and my relationship with God. This will definitely be a whole other post in itself, but until then, just know that I am doing fine, and I'm being taken care of. 

Just in these past few weeks alone, there has been a ton of growth in me personally, and I have really had to have faith. I'll go into detail in another post on all of that, but so far, being in a long distance relationship has been hard, but very good and healthy for me, actually. It sucks that I can't hug or hold hands with Darell when I feel like it, but it'll be worth it when I do see him (which will be soon (; )

We'll see where this takes us, and I'll do my best to document it!

Until then, give me tips for being in an LDR especially if you are as far apart as we are! I wanna hear your stories. 

Chau for now

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