The Most Heartbreaking Reality About Working in Makeup

Okay so my 30 day writing challenge was a bust, but a big chunk of it was because of this post that I've had on my heart for so long, and the thought about waiting until May to publish it really kept me from writing. Yet it's almost May. Woops. 

So anyway, as I've mentioned before, I work in a makeup store. It's called Gloss, and for those of you who aren't from Australia, think of it as a Sephora-meets-drugstore-brands. It means that you can test basically any product in the store, but the prices are ridiculously affordable. 
& of course, as with most makeup stores, we sell foundation. Sometimes I'll get asked to match a foundation for someone's face and it's actually one of my favorite things to do, because a well-matching foundation can do wonders for someone's overall look. Usually, these women aren't wearing makeup already (or they're wearing very little) so if this is the case, I ask if I can apply one shade to half of their face then we can apply another shade to the other side if it doesn't match perfectly. We also have face wipes handy so that they can wipe the makeup off their faces after. 
Sometimes, I'll match a person and they'll take every suggestion I give them in regards to the foundation, makeup, anything really. It makes me feel good because although I am no professional by any means, it's cool to know that maybe I actually do know a thing or two about makeup. 
However, many times we will also get many women of colour (usually Indian women) where I will match them to the perfect, and I mean PERFECT shade on them (it looks like they're not wearing makeup!) but they don't like it. 
*looks at other foundation colors* "Can we go lighter?" 
*looks at self in the mirror & turns to me while I am smiling at myself in accomplishment* "Ahh, it's too dark!"
It is usually at this time where I'll tell these women my honest opinion & tell them how amazing they look with the foundation & give them my honest opinion about what putting on the lightest shade of foundation (while they are my skin tone or darker) would look like on them. I try to be polite, but still brutally honest in saying that it won't look flattering on them. I then continue to try and encourage them in the way they look with the correct matching foundation. My coworker has even used powder highlighters on customers' faces to show them how these ladies can brighten their faces while still wearing the correct shade of foundation. 
Now look, I know that a woman should be able to look however she wants to look. BUT, if she is using makeup to hide behind it, it isn't healthy at all. Especially if the woman who looks perfectly beautiful & fine in her skin tone is saying, "I want to be whiter/fairer." 
This is a result of colonialism. 
Because in history Europeans have invaded so many countries, many of these people in these places see those with the lighter skin as those with power. They see the treatment that people who are darker get for no reason other than their skin tone, and they want to be lighter. 
In Asia, skin-lightening is a BILLION DOLLAR industry. Like what?! Even my parents have contributed to this industry by buying whitening products for my sister & I when we were younger so we could become lighter. I remember them coming home from the Philippines with whitening soaps, whitening lotions, whitening deodorants, anything you could think of for us to lighten ourselves with. If you look at media in Asia, most celebrities are really pale & with westernized features. Hell, people even get eyelid surgeries so they don't have the defining Asian feature of a monolid. 
& it's really so, so sad. 
So many women all around the world think that their value, their worth, their beauty is less just because of their skin tone. & it really frustrates me & breaks my heart when I come across these kinds of women at work. & it really sucks because many of these women are actually older than the age of 30. You would think it would be younger women but no, it's the older ones. So this mindset is engraved into their brains. 
What can we do about it? 

We are beautiful no matter how we look. Photo cred: Hannah Bernabe

We can start featuring women of colour in media, & a wide range of women (dark and light skinned Asians, dark and light skinned black women, etc). We can start with the younger kids, the younger cousins/nieces/daughters/students that they are beautiful just the way they are. We can start setting the examples ourselves by loving the skin we're in (or learning to do so if we don't already) so that other women can see that it is possible to be confidently beautiful even if you're not as white as a piece of paper. 
I've learned quite a few things while working in the world of makeup, but this, by far, has been the most frustrating & heartbreaking thing that I've realized. I can only hope & pray that someday women won't feel the need to use makeup to hide behind, but rather use it to enhance their natural beauty. 

Making a Comeback... and Looking for Some Help

So I'm pretty freaking excited to get back into blogging. It's something that has remained on my mind every day even though I wasn't posting. This space was not only a place for me to express myself, but it allowed me to get creative, whether with posting, with writing, or just trying out new things in general. Being so drained physically, emotionally, and mentally from the changes in my life just really kept me from being able to commit and be consistent with my writing. 
However, now that my life is finally calming down a bit (with the exception of school starting in less than two weeks), I now feel like I am in a perfect place to be able to get back on board with blogging. 
That's when this post comes in. 
So I've never been afraid to ask for help, and I want to get some help from you now, if at all possible. 
I'm looking for people to collaborate with! With some things that I'm going to be doing on the blog soon, I wanna partner with others to get a great community going here of people who are just livin' and lovin' their lives. 
I'm looking for: 

• Bloggers currently in or have previously been in long distance relationships (LDRs) to share blog posts they've written about it to potentially be used in a future LDR post
• LDR stories from anyone, blogger or not!
• Asian American Bloggers, UNITE
• Brands to collaborate with, whether fashion, faith-related, beauty, or anything regarding relationships
• Local Southern California bloggers to meet up & collaborate with, either with a post or a video or a photoshoot, anything really! I'm down to just hang out haha. 
• Bloggers in general who want to collaborate or just talk! I am so extroverted & love meeting/getting to know new people! I might even just consider having a pen pal!
• Local LA/Orange County photographers looking to expand their portfolio. Let's get shooting!
• Even if you don't fit any of the other categories but wanna just talk, please reach out to me!

Whatever category you fit into or just want to talk, please shoot me an email! kriselle @ livinandlovin . com (take out the spaces). Or comment below if that is easier for you. Either way. I'm looking forward to collaborating with tons of people soon and getting this blog back up & running :)

A Birthday to Remember

Today is my birthday! I'm probably just gonna go to Starbucks to get my free drink/food item and go out to dinner with my roommate and some friends tonight, but I already celebrated most of my birthday a few days ago!

If you know me, you know how much I've always wanted to have a debut. (Note: Debut - Celebration in the Filipino culture when a girl turns 18 to represent that she is a woman; similar to a quinceañera/Sweet 16) Anyway, I didn't have one when I turned 18 last year because of money and I was away at college, so I wouldn't have had enough time to have one. It's just something I'd always wanted since I was a kid. 

My wonderful roommate, Alissa, however, took the initiative to plan a modified version of one for me! Long story short, I got dressed up for the occasion and got blind-folded before being taken to Corona Del Mar State Beach. I didn't know where we were going, and although I'm usually not particularly a fan of the beach, for what Alissa did for me, I think it was perfect. 

When I got to our destination, I walked over with Alissa and a few other friends while blindfolded to where we were going to be for the evening. When the blindfold was taken off, there were all my Vanguard friends standing in a line, all screaming "Happy birthday!" to me. I was so touched. Afterwards, I was able to have a photoshoot with all of them as the sun was setting. 

Unfortunately at this time, there was still no Darell. About halfway through the shoot, however, I saw someone walking from a distance, and I recognized his walk. I realized it was Darell and our guy friends and I booked it over to them and nearly tackled Darell to the ground. I was so happy that he was there! We took more pictures before Tammy took me over to have my own photoshoot. 

After about half an hour of taking pictures of each other, Alissa finally called me over and I came over to a pathway lined with (fake, but still real-looking) candles! Most of my friends were standing on either side of the candles so I wasn't sure what was going to happen. With Darell at the end of it, I almost thought someone was going to marry us. 

But no, I walked down the aisle and stood at the end of it. Then, one by one, each of my friends came up with a rose to greet me. The whole setup was a mash-up of the debut's traditional candles and roses. And of course, when we got to the last rose, it was none other than Darell himself. He decided to be a little daring and put the rose in his mouth as if we were going to salsa or something, and everyone was shocked but in a good way. We all loved it and thought it was funny and cute of him to do so. 

We ended the ceremony with a dance to our song, A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, played by my friend Paul and sung by my friends Kaciny, Janelle, and May. It was a little awkward cause we were basically "going in circles on rhythm" according to Darell, but honestly, I didn't care. I loved it because Darell doesn't normally put himself out there like that, so I appreciated it so much. He was the only person I really paid attention too at that point. 

When the song ended, we took some more pictures as a group before heading to In-n-Out. We had dinner there and hung out with Darell, the guys, my friends Ben and Joel, and Alissa in our room before I left for home with the guys. 

Okay, so that post ended up being longer than I thought, but nonetheless, it was an amazing day. It was a night to remember, that's for sure. I did more things for my birthday with my parents and last night, but I'll write about that in another post. I'll just leave you with some great pictures that my friend Tammy took from Saturday to enjoy! They should speak for themselves [:

If you know Darell, then you would understand why this is my favorite picture from the night. ♥  

It was a magical night. And on an even brighter note, I'm finally 19!

Chau for now♥