So today I am having Jordan Holley from The Spontaneous Idealist blogging for me today while I'm in Seattle, Washington for choir tour! Today's post is all about breakups (and no, don't worry my boyfriend and I aren't broken up)! As someone who's gone through breakups before, I think it's very fitting to have an idea of ways to get over it. It's hard for everyone, no matter the relationship, so getting over it in a healthy way is a good thing to know!
I am so very excited to be guest posting with Kriselle, today! She will be guest posting for me, so I am more than happy to return the favor. I am hoping this is the beginning of a long-lasting blogger friendship.
As any good blogger, I will introduce myself. I am Jordan – a 21 year old nursing student (graduating May 2015) who loves to eat good food, travel, fashion, writing, and snuggling with my cat. I blog over at The Spontaneous Idealist (http://jordanaholley.wordpress.com), and I would love for you to come on over and check it out!
Today, I want to address a tinder subject: breakups. They are unpleasant, nasty, and complicated – I know. My sophomore year of college, the man I was head over heels in love with and I split. It was the hardest thing I ever went through.
It is hard to accept the reality of the situation when you are in pain. So, in true Sex and the City fashion, I am going to list the best way to get through those first crucial months.
1. Find your buddies. You shouldn’t go through breakups alone. Find the one (or two) people you can call when you are distressed, crying like a baby at 3am, on the verge of calling him, or when you pass the restaurant where you had the first date. These friends are crucial. They need to be strong individuals who love you and are willing to stick beside you at all costs. They need to bring you back to reality and not allow you to wallow in your sorrow.
2. Listen to your buddies. I say this from experience. When they give you advice on how to handle the situation at hand, listen. Don’t be stubborn in your pain. Their minds are clouded by lost love. They don’t have stupid written on their foreheads.
3. Go back to the Gospel. When you feel left, alone, unworthy, and denied, go back to the basics. We tend to lose sight of the one and only True Love – Christ who never leaves nor forsakes. No matter your faults, short comings, sins, or worries, the Lord still loves you. In the summer of 2012, I became a believer (through a breakup, actually). My friends kept saying, “It is okay. Christ still loves you.” Those words rang in my ears for months and were used to open my eyes to the beauty of the Gospel. (Refer to #1 and #2.)
4. Take time for yourself. Don’t stretch your calendar thin. Add some extra time to allow for those random “I can’t believe this” moments. Take some time to pick up an old hobby: painting, writing, SLEEPING. Go for a day hike at a State Park with your buddies. Don’t be by yourself (could be mentally detrimental), but don’t put yourself in awkward situations with large crowds. AND SLEEP.
5. “It is okay to not be okay”. Those were some of the best words of advice ever given to me. Accept the fact that you are not fine. And that that is perfectly acceptable. Don’t beat yourself up.
6. It will take time. Removing him from your life will take time. If you spend hours sobbing over the pictures you took together on your last date, have your bestie steal your phone, go through all of your photo albums, and delete every picture of the two of you (true story: it happened). As time moves on, the pain will subside and you won’t think twice about deleting the emails, trashing the sweet notes, or disassociating yourself from his family.
7. Cut your hair. In the words of one of my idols, Coco Chanel, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” I have chopped my hair off when my highschool sweetheart and I ended it. And recently, I cut bangs. It helps change your identity and freshens your look. Why not? Nothing is stopping you.
This is not all the advice I have for this situation, but hopefully it will give you the basics to start with. As time moves along, you will be able to be “Fabulous” once again. You have any comments, suggestions, concerns, or are in need of advice, please feel free to contact me. I am always available to help out a sister.
Be sure to check out Jordan's blog! She's a great blogger friend that I am excited to get to know, and I am glad she was able to cover for me while I was out and about today. I hope you guys can take something away from this post and apply it, maybe even to things outside of breakups. Until next time!