Over the past few months, I have seen tremendous growth in mine and Darell's relationship, especially in the field of communication. It has always been something that we have had and continue to struggle with.
In the past I've talked about how he and I both have completely different love languages, and while it's still difficult for us sometimes, we have both been trying to actively show love to each other in the ways that we need to be loved.
Over the past few months, I have discovered one thing that Darell and I do that is really important to do in relationships, no matter your love language. I think that doing what he and I have started to do is beneficial and essential to every couple to help keep the love and passion alive, especially when things may not be going so well.
Regularly remind your significant other why you love them.
Here is why that is one thing that you can do to improve and maintain the quality of your relationship:
+ If you love language is words of affirmation like me, then being on the receiving end of this simple activity is literally showing you that you are being loved in a way that you understand and appreciate.
+ You become more observant and intentional with your significant other. You start to really look at who they are as a person and watch them interact with others, and once you become more aware of these things, you start to find more things to love about them, some you may have never noticed before. Even after 4 years I'm still learning things about Darell that I am falling in love with all over again.
+ Even if your love language isn't words, doing this activity will help you be more intentional and almost force you to express how you feel on the inside to that special person. And since this is not normal or comfortable for you, it will be that much more meaningful to your special person.
+ When you've been in a relationship for so long, it is easy to forget why you love this person, especially if there are fights always on the rise. This is a good way for you both to take a step back to breathe and as Darell says, "think about why you started in the first place." Darell says that doing this keeps him in check with why he's still with me especially when we're not on the best terms with each other.
+ What Darell and I do when we do this exercise is at the end of the day or when we're about to go home for the day when the two of us hang out, we will tell each other one reason we love each other and literally say, "I love you because..." I started doing this with Darell mostly because he doesn't feel comfortable expressing love to me with words. This way, he's slowly getting more used to doing this but I also get to think about what really made me fall for him to begin with. This isn't something we do all the time, but doing it at least a couple times a week has really helped us.
+ It puts you both in a good mood. Doing this even when you're not in a great mood will encourage you both and remind you both that there are good things in you that you may not notice that your significant other does notice.
Since we've started doing this, I've been seeing changes in my relationship with Darell for the better, and I'm very thankful that he's been a trooper in opening up how he really feels about me by expressing it in words. It isn't something he is comfortable with or used to so I really do appreciate that from him. He and I have both grown through doing this, and I think couples at any stage of their relationship would benefit from this.
So how do you keep the love alive in your relationship? How do you express yourselves to each other?