When some people think about worship services that change their lives or that really make them think, some may think about bawling your eyes out and having some divine intervention. That wasn't the case for me. The night was serene, and I felt like the quietness and calmness was necessary.
A lot of questions popped in my mind that I had been putting off for a while, and I just felt compelled to write. I wrote down whatever came to my mind and many of the scriptural references that the band had made throughout the night. A lot of things were coming to me and it didn't always make sense. I have this urge to share what I wrote, hoping to encourage someone out there who may be feeling the same way/going through the same things. Here's what I wrote:
What could be more beautiful than that? How could we be so blind and want anything else? God's glory, his goodness, his embrace is never-failing and always open.
What is worship?
It is singing loudly to the heavens even if you're off key. It is looking around you and seeing the beauty and glory displayed in the people around you.
"Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die."
"But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me."
How long, God? What am I looking for? What do I need?
Why am I so lost? Why am I in hiding from everyone around me? Even those who love me?
Open my heart and cleanse me. Wash me clean, O Lord. Rid me of the dirt that is clogging up my soul. So much burden and worry is in my heart, but I can't shake it.
I guess this post turned out to be more personal than I thought. I didn't realize it until I got to the last bits of what I wrote that night.
I don't write posts like these as much as I used to, but I still see my blog, this space, as my personal diary and a place for me to write my thoughts on whatever it may be. I hope you enjoy this space just as much as I do.