Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Beauty (and Struggle) of Not Knowing

Is anyone else a planner like me? I like to have my life planned out, from this summer to graduation to my future family. I know that things won't go my way, I like to know where I'm headed and work towards that goal.

On the day to day basis, I love spontaneity. If I have time, I love randomly eating out with good friends or going on a random adventure with random people. It's fun. But beyond that, I like to know what I'll be doing a month, a year, five years from now.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why I plan so much. Did something traumatic happen to me as a child to make me so set on my life? Is that just my personality? I'm one of few college students who know almost exactly what they want out of life and what they want to do with it. Why is that the case?

It's good to plan... until it doesn't work out.

After a series of events that have been happening in my life, it is a sure thing that I don't know what I will be doing this summer or even next school year, and it kills me. I always feel the need to know.

When I get disappointed in something or get into an argument with my boyfriend, it can all trace back to high expectations on my part.

One thing that I've learned among all of this: calm down. 

When I say "calm down," I mean stop freaking out. And I'm mostly saying this for myself. When we walk into certain situations without overthinking everything, that's when good things happen. We are at ease with ourselves and the situations around us.

It's good to have a plan, actually, it's great! Just remember to calm down a bit and stay grounded on the fact that things almost never go as we expect it to.

A Bible verse that I recently came across that I hadn't seen in a while reminded me of this:
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." -Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)
I'm still trying to figure this all out, but I'm working on it! If you have any tips on dealing with the balance of planning things out and dealing with disappointment/failed plans, I would appreciate the encouragement [:


  1. I am the exact same way!!! Unfortunately, I have no tips for you :(

  2. There is a reason for the saying, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." I'm a planner too. I like having a path set out for me, but I've realized in my 48 years that sometimes the goals and dreams we set for ourselves end up taking on a different look than we though. I don't believe in failure... I believe in life adjustments. It's great to have a direction, but life doesn't work like that. If you consider your life one big adventure, you'll be ready for those detours that come along the way.

    1. That is a great way to look at things! Life adjustments... I like that. It's definitely a much healthier way than seeing everything as a failure. I appreciate your wisdom on the subject. Thanks for sharing, Carolyn!

  3. We are polar opposites! I hate planning! Whenever I do, things never go as planned so I've quit planning then on. It's not like I don't like planning (I do, I try my best to stick to every plan) but it's just easier said than done. I still plan but I don't expect them to happen all the time any more.

    Kiss kiss,

    1. We truly are opposites! I've tried that before, but unfortunately my thoughts always end up getting the best of me. I hope we both find the happy medium!

  4. Oh, this post. This topic has been on my mind so much lately with my trip to London and the uncertainty of am I moving there, am I coming back, should I leave the flathunting until I'm in London, etc. etc. In my life, I pretty much fly by the seat of my pants - even when I make a schedule, I tend to say 'fuck it' and do whatever I want instead... which is probably a huge reason I suck at time management. But when it comes to bigger things, I go crazy (literally) unless I have everything laid out. I can't depend on other people; it makes me SO anxious.

    In the end, what I came up with for this specific situation was that I'd plan for one week + 2 days in London, come back, and save up to move a bit later (though preferably before the summer heat gets really bad in mid late June). If I find a place to stay, or my campaign works out, though? I'm allowed to stay there. I can stay as long as I want. But I'm planning for just the one week, and leaving all flathunting websites alone (except for my ad on spareroom, which I'm leaving up just in case, lol).

    1. Wow, sounds like you have a lot going on! Well it seems like you got a good plan on you for now. I hope that things work out in your favor, Lix!


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